Cost Bret Hart his Title
by B.M. Orr
Summary: Earl finds himself in Canada to cross off the next thing on his list, costing Bret Hart his WWE title to Shawn Michaels at Survivor Series 1997! Starring: Earl, Randy, Bret Hart, Rey Mysterio, DGeneration X, and more! ADDED CHAPTER 5!
1. This Week

Hello everyone, this is my first story. I hope you like it. Also, I do not own the rights to My Name is Earl, WWE or any character or names within.

**Cost Bret Hart the Title**

**Chapter 1: This Week**

Earl found himself in a place he never imagined he would be. He was in the place that he thought was a wasteland. It was a place that he thought was filled with whackos and lunatics. He was in Canada.

_You might be wondering what I'm doing in Canada. Well, it all started when me and Randy were watching wrestling_

"Now, this week in wrestling history," the voice said as the show went to a commercial break. "Survivor Series 1997, in Montreal, Quebec, Bret Hart defended the WWE Championship against the "Heartbreak Kid" Shawn Michaels. Hart fought hard, but HBK matched him move for move, eventually locking in Hart's own Sharpshooter. Just before Bret reached the ropes, Earl Hebner rang the bell in what is now known as the Montreal Screwjob."

_That was when it hit me. I was at Survivor Series that year. While I was at the event I sat in the front row. Me, being American was cheering for Shawn Michaels to win. That was when I cost Bret Hart the match_

"C'mon you dirty Canadian! Tap out!" Earl yelled.

Hart was reaching towards the ropes about to grab them, when Earl through his nachos. It landed infront of Hart. Bret swatted the nachos away. Hebner saw Hart's had tapping, and called for the bell. Hart stood up dazed. He looked at the referee and then Vince McMahon, spitting in McMahon's face.

_I then realized that I cost a man his entire career, and caused a chasm between fans everywhere. That was the last time Bret Hart was in a WWE ring. Karma sent me a sign, and I knew I had to fix it, so I added another item to my list. #258, Cost Bret Hart the WWE Championship._

I'll post the next chapter soon, please review!


	2. Booyaka, Booyaka!

Chapter 2: Booyaka, Booyaka!

_As it turns out, crossing this off my list would be tougher than I thought. It seems that no one knew for sure where Bret Hart lived, except for the WWE. Not to mention that Randy wasn't exactly excited about my mission._

"No, Earl, you can't do it, it would be an insult to Americans everywhere," Randy said.

"I've got to Randy! I won $100,000 and got hit by a car. I cost the WWE even more money, and disappointed tons of fans. I've got to fix this," said Earl.

"But how are you going to make it up to him?" asked Randy.

"I'll think of something," Earl said. That was when Catalina walked in.

"Bret Hart? He was great. The best there is, the best there was, the best there ever will be!" said Catalina.

"You watch wrestling!?" Earl exclaimed.

"Wrestling is a major part of my native culture. I even have a friend who is a wrestler," Catalina responded.

"Who? If it's Psicosis I'll pass. He scares me with those pointy horns," said Randy sheepishly.

"Don't worry Randy, it's not Psicosis, it's Rey Mysterio!" said Catalina.

_As it turns out, Catalina one dated Rey Mysterio back when he was wrestling in Mexico. They broke up after Rey went to wrestle in America for Paul Heyman, but they still kept in touch. WWE had an event right outside Camden the next day, so we made our way to the arena to meet up with Rey-Rey._

"Hello Rey," said Catalina.

"Catalina, 'sup girl, I haven't seen you since I jobbed to Chavo Guerrero back in '04. What'ya need girl?" asked Mysterio.

"I'd like you to meet my friend Earl, and his brother Randy."

_So, I told Rey Mysterio about my list, and how I cost Bret Hart the title. He seemed captivated by my story, and seemed willing to help._

"Hey, Rey- I mean, Mr. Mysterio? Can I have something to remember you by?" asked Randy.

"Sure dog, you can have my mask," said Rey as he started to remove his mask.

"Oh no, don't do that. I don't know if you have a face. It would be real creepy if you didn't have a face like that guy with the weird hat in Fat Albert," said Randy.

"Uh, whatever dude."


	3. Suck It!

Chapter 3: Sck It!

"I still can't believe you got his pants Randy," said Earl.

"But Earl, they feel so smooth, and I like pants. They're warm and protective," Randy said.

_That was when we walked into DX, Triple H and Shawn Michaels. _

"Hey, I'm Shawn, who are you?" asked HBK.

"Uh, hi. My name is Earl," said Earl. "This is my brother, Randy."

"I'm Randy," said Randy. Then Robbie walked up.

"I'm Robbie!" shouted Robbie.

"So, what brings you two here?" asked Triple H.

"Well, you see, we're on a mission," Earl said

_So, just as I told Rey Mysterio, I told DX about my list, and how I was on my way to meet Bret Hart. That was my worst mistake since I gave my lotto winnings to Paul_.

"Bret Hart huh?" said Triple H.

"We can't let you do that," said Shawn.

"But I have to, it's on my list," said Earl.

"Well, we have a little list of our own. You see, it has everyone that can just…" said Shawn has he raised his arms in the air.

"SUCK IT!!!" exclaimed Triple H as they started to crotch chop.

"What can you do to us?" Randy said.

_As it turns out, they could throw us into a dumpster. This wasn't a good thing, because we didn't get Bret Hart's address. We would just have to figure out another way to get inside. _

"C'mon Randy, we've got to get back inside!" Earl shouted.

"Can't we just look around a bit in here? Look, I found five John Cena action figures with their heads missing. It's a good thing that it's not really Cena, because that would be scary. But, it would be a service to fans everywhere," said Randy.

"Randy?" said Earl.

"Yeah, Earl?" Randy said.

"Just open the door."


	4. When in Doubt, Look Up

**Chapter 4: When in Doubt, Look Up**

_Since we couldn't get back inside through the door, we had to find another way. Luckily for us, our good (and gay), friend Kenny James had quit his job working at the paper shop and got into bungee jumping._

"Thanks Kenny, we really needed these," Earl said, adjusting his harness.

"After all you've done for me Earl? No thanks is needed," said Kenny.

"Did you know there's someone in the WWE named Kenny? I'm pretty sure he's gay too," Randy said.

_We managed to get on the roof with a ladder we found in the back of the arena. Once we got up there, we hooked up our gear and were ready to drop in through a small skylight. But, our plan had one flaw._

"I'm stuck Earl," said Randy.

"C'mon Randy, look, I'll give you a push," Earl said.

_So, I jumped on top of Randy, sending both of us through the hole. There was one other flaw with our plan. The drop was about 12ft. drop, and we had 13ft. of cords._

Earl and Randy landed in an office, crashing through a table. As they got up, they noticed someone else in the room. It was none other than Vincent Kennedy McMahon.

"What are you two doing in here?! I'm calling security!" shouted Mr. McMahon.

"Wait! Let me explain!" exclaimed Earl.

_So, I explained my list for the third time that day. Mr. McMahon listened attentively._

"Well, I suppose I can give you his address," said Mr. McMahon. "If you can fix this, maybe he'll come back to the WWE."

_We got the address from Mr. McMahon and started to make our way out the building when he stopped us. Apparently he needed something in return. Lance Cade and Trevor Murdoch missed their flight, and couldn't be at the show. So, he wanted us to take their place in a match._

"So, who do you want us to go against?" asked Earl.

"Oh, just D-Generation X," said Mr. McMahon.

I'll post more later, PLEASE REVIEW! THANKS!


	5. Tune Up the Band

Chapter 5: Tune Up the Band

It looks like we got ourselves into yet another pickle. Now, I like pickles, but not these kind. It seems like that if I had just kept my mouth shut when talking to Shawn and Hunter, we wouldn't be in this situation.

"The following contest is scheduled for one fall! Making their way to the ring, Camden County's own… Earl and Randy, the Hickey Brothers!" announced Lillian Garcia.

"Hey Earl, maybe we can actually win. Maybe there will be a Christmas miracle!" said Randy.

"Randy, it's September," Earl said.

"Thanksgiving?"

"November"

"Halloween?"

"October"

"Fourth of July?"

"Use you head Randy!"

"So is it the Fourth of July?"

I didn't have time to tell Randy that the Fourth of July was in, well, July, because D-Generation X were making their way down to the ring.

"Look fellas, we're gonna go easy on you," said Shawn.

"Really?" asked Randy.

"Sure, we figure we'll give you a Pedigree, some Sweet Chin Music, then bash you skulls in with a sledge hammer," said Triple H nonchalantly.

"I thought you said you would take it easy on us!" exclaimed Earl.

"We are. We were going to make you wear cheerleading outfits like we made the Spirit Squad," said Shawn.

"Those guys were so gay," Triple H said.

"Not that there's anything wrong with that," said Shawn.

The referee rang the bell and it was time for the match to begin. I didn't know how me and Randy could win the match, or even survive, but karma was looking out for us once again. DX was doing a storyline with Randy Orton and Edge, known as Rated RKO. Rated RKO weren't on the card that night for some reason. We found out why. Rated RKO came to the ring, jumping DX. They got into a brawl, and started a match between the two teams.

While this was going on, me and Randy snuck off to the parking lot to go to the airport. We had Bret Hart's address, and now all we needed to do was to get on the next flight to Canada. But, DX weren't the only ones who didn't want us to meet up with Bret as we would soon find out.


End file.
